It Was Fun While It Lasted.

12 Aug

or; Why I Should Never Be Put in A Position Of Authority.

I have resigned my job at the school canteen.

The other weekend, while Sasquatch was sick, I had an epiphany. All I could think of was that Monday was the worst possible day for me to take off work. That’s when it hit me: if I am making myself feel guilty for taking time off work to do my real job, then it’s time to quit, and back the hell away from the crazy.

The P&C, who are my bosses, have been amazingly good about it. I expected at least some snarkiness, but they understand (they are all parents themselves, which helps), and are doing their best to make the transition as painless as possible.

I’m a bit sad, because I do love my job, but two parents working five days a week isn’t working out for the boys, and thus it’s not working for us as parents. Tech Support has been completely fabulous throughout this whole working-mother experiment: supportive, helpful and encouraging, but I could tell that my decision was at least as much of a relief to him as it has been to me. His workload has been getting heavier, and he is travelling more, which means the boys have been getting short shrift.

Also, I have been making myself crazy – it seems I am something of a control freak (my mother is laughing her arse off right about now – “Seems?” she hoots. “Seems? Hahahahaha!”), and my OCD tendencies have… blossomed. I can’t sleep, or switch off my brain, and even when I’m here at home, I’m not here-here, if you know what I mean. I’m thinking about stock-levels, and rosters, and the dire shortage of volunteers, and do I have enough spaghetti-sauce, or will I have to order some more in the morning….

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this on the blog before (though some of you already know it), but my Boyo has Asperger’s Syndrome, and he needs a lot of attention. Also, Sasquatch has become very jealous and possessive of me, which is not like him at all – he has always been a sweet, generous little guy, but just lately he can’t bear to let Boyo sit on my lap or have any “Mummy-time”. I truly thought that this job would allow me to give them as much of my time as they need, and if I were a different kind of person that would probably be the case, but I am my crazy, obsessive self. It turns out I can do one job really well, and for the last five months I have been doing a damn good job at the canteen, but here at home I feel like I’ve been letting the side down. Those of you who do the SuperMum thing, my hat is off to you. I admire you more than I can say. It sure as hell isn’t working for me.

So very soon I will be back where I belong, using my obsessive-compulsive superpowers for the really important stuff. Knitting, blogging, fibre-fondling.

What, you didn’t think I was going to waste them on the washing-up, did you?

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7 Responses to “It Was Fun While It Lasted.”

  1. amy August 12, 2008 at 6:51 am #

    I completely understand. I am also OCD like that, and as a result more or less always working. I am impossible at separating work and home (and this was before I had kids). I am very, very grateful that I can choose to do just the one job. I’m sorry it didn’t work out as you hoped, but I do hope things are easier for you soon.

  2. Mandie August 12, 2008 at 7:27 am #

    We’ve already held a summit meeting over this, but I want to say again ‘good for you’!
    I’m a little chuffed that you’re going to be home too 🙂

  3. becky c. August 12, 2008 at 8:48 am #

    Aww, I know you’ll miss it, but I’m sure you are making a good choice. They are only little and needy for a very short while and then they leave you to go to college in Canada! (Projecting? Who me?)

  4. tinkingbell August 12, 2008 at 9:14 am #

    Aaah – I’m glad to see you’re using your awesome powers for good!!

    I totally understand – and am about to re-enter to workforce – 3 days/week only and flexible – and I’m still scared I’ll end up being a crap mother!!!

  5. Lynne August 12, 2008 at 7:36 pm #

    You are a winner! Why? Because you prioritised what’s right for you and your family. Others may think differently but WTH. Only you know what’s right for you.
    Congratulations, Gold medal mum!

  6. Kate August 17, 2008 at 9:22 am #

    You tried it. It didn’t work for your family. You bought some new wool with your new money. It’s all good. And I’m looking forward to more FrogFiles to read!!
    :>

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m thinking of changing my name to something that better reflects my personality… « Kiss My Frog - March 26, 2010

    […] have spent the last two weeks working in the school canteen again, enjoying a refresher course in Why I Quit In The First Place. Can you guess how long it took me to get back to the Crazy Place, where I can’t sleep at […]

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