Venting My Inner Dork (With Only Twenty-Five Letters)

23 Apr

Something is wedged under the “A” key of my notebook, so that it only intermittently registers. Thus, the following rant is going to be left as is, with some “A”s present and some not, and without me going back through and thumping repeatedly on that key correcting my typos the way I just have for this explanatory paragraph. Hopefully, this weekend Tech Support and I will have time to pry up the keyboard and fix the problem.

I’m  huge sci-fi nerd (written s well s filmed, but my gripe tody is specificlly with tv/movie sci-fi, and tht’s  big enough topic without dipping into novels too). I grew up on Dr Who, Str Trek, Star Wrs, et al. In my teens it ws the Alien movies, Termintor, etc (smuggled home from the video shop when our prents weren’t home, because some of these movies were R-rted, nd my mother ws deth on horror movies).

Then, of course, there cme Str Trek: The Next Genertion, nd the subsequent series (lthough I never could get into Deep Spce Nine – it just felt like spin-off for spin-off’s sake, rther thn naturl progression of the storyline). I love me some Ptrick Stewrt. nd lter, I fell hard and fst for everything Joss Whedon ever even wlked pst, especilly Firefly/Serenity. In fact,  lrge part of wht follows is Joss’ fult: becuse of him, I wnt my sci-fi to be the result of clever writing nd solid direction, rther thn just spce ships and lsers nd cutesy charcters delibertely designed for merchndising purposes (why, yes, George Lucas, I am tlking bout you, you big hack!).

So when I recently rented Str Trek: Enterprise, I ws horribly disppointed. I knew Scott Bkula ws in it, and I’ve hd  bit of  crush on him ever since Quntum Lep, so I ws hopeful, but this shite is just so utterly implausible! The finl straw for me ws the third episode, entitled Strnge New World, in which the crew of the Enterprise find their first M-Class plnet (cpable of sustaining human life, if nybody hs mde it this far). I don’t want to give too mny spoilers, but just becuse a planet hs a brethable tmosphere, doesn’t mean you cn just go blithely down to the surfce without spacesuits, or let the Cptain bring his dog!!!! On a similr note, even on their native planet, would a botnist really pick an unfmiliar flower with bare hnds,  nd then sniff it? If you’re dumb enough to do tht on n alien plnet, then everything that follows is your own dmn fault (not to mention completely derivative)! In this same episode, the ship’s ‘exo-linguist’ uses the phrse “I should’ve never left the university”… Cll me crzy, but I’m not trusting a language expert who cn’t even spek her own lnguage (nd I cn’t BELIEVE I just bitched out someone’s grmmar in this post of all posts!) . Needless to sy, I will not be wasting any more of my time with the further vdentures of Captin Archer and his stalwrt crew.

I feel so much better now tht I’ve got that off my chest (lthough the plethora of typos is giving me a facial tic of biblical proportions – if you never her from me gain, then the act of clicking on the “Publish” button probably gave me a stroke).

Now I must go nd wge war aginst the ants who re intent on invading my kitchen.

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8 Responses to “Venting My Inner Dork (With Only Twenty-Five Letters)”

  1. 2paw April 23, 2010 at 11:13 am #

    Yes, ditto Scott Bkul nd Enterprise. It ws Not Very Good t ll. Though for much more excellent Not Goodness I cn recommend Blke’s 7: so bd in n erly Doctor Who wy tht it is good!!! Mmmmm Whedon, StrTrek, though I liked DS9, Str Wrs(but only TOS) Bbylon 5?? We re rewtching it for the third time nd up to seson 4. I liked Spce bove nd Beyond too.ll of the Strgtes, I even like Universe. I hve yet to ctch up with the new BttleStr, it didn’t screen here nd though we own the series we hve to get the Miniseries tht ws first.
    Hppy computer fixing.

  2. Rose Red April 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    I know the lack of ‘a’ is annoying (or should that be nnoying) but it’s pretty funny to read!

    Since I’m not a huge sci fi fan, I can’t comment on the rant part, but if you work out how to get rid of the ants, please let me know!!

  3. Leonie April 24, 2010 at 7:02 pm #

    My deepest sympathies on the loss of your “a” may I suggest that storing one in the copy/paste buffer does aid in clarity if really required. I anticipate the return of your “a” way more speedily than my “y” returned anyway!

    Couple of questions for you….does your DVD player support playing other formats ie, DivX or .avi files? Or alternatively do you watch DVD’s on your laptop?? Just so I can fulfil my promise to you made oh almost a year ago now…oops!

  4. Lynne April 25, 2010 at 7:58 am #

    Hope you are able to sort out the “a” key problem!

    Ants – they are the second, no third, worst type of “space invaders” – after cockroaches and silverfish!

  5. Becky C. April 26, 2010 at 11:21 pm #

    U kno, I think the typos gave the rant extra punch somehow.

    For me, it is medical shows that don’t know any medicine. I watched the pilot of Grey’s Anatomy and the lack of authenticity was so glaring that I was yelling at the screen. I know it is meant to be prime-time soap opera, but I just couldn’t bear it and I never watched it again.

    • kissmyfrog April 27, 2010 at 7:41 am #

      Hee hee, so glad I’m not the only one yells at the television! I have a similar problem with “House” (partly stemming from the fact that I’ve loved Hugh Laurie as a comic actor for a long time, and it hurts me to see him playing such an unpleasant character). But seriously, what are the odds that even a world-famous hospital like Princeton would see a patient present with not ONE, but TWO incredibly rare diseases EVERY SINGLE WEEK?

  6. Nancy W April 30, 2010 at 11:55 pm #

    love’d the rant… it’s tru – “enterprise” was the worst in the star trek series…
    me, I’ve had to stop watching the court dramas… as a corporate lawyer, even I know from my dark days of law school that NO ONE in a first world country goes from being charged with a crime one day to having a full jury trial within a few days or a civil trial going from filing to verdict in a few days.

    I concur on the banality of Lucas’ dialog – I scream at almost all the dialog between Anakin and Amadala in Episodes II and III – so lousy, so awful. I keep waiting for the movie to redo itself and for Amadala to slap him like Cher did to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck – screaming “Snap out it!”

  7. Tinkingbell May 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm #

    Hahahahahahahahahhahahahhaha! I can just see you having conniptions (might ! suggest exploration with a 1.75mm DPN?)

    Been in the monastery of assignments – heading back in a minute – just pooped out to see if I could catch up with people who had real lives……..

    We always cack ourselves – because SciFi channel runs entirely on Star trek and its derivatives and a million and one Stargates…
    We yell at the tellie too – mainly about not having any decent scifi – but if Warehouse 13, The Lost Room or Santuary – or Being Human pop up – check them out..

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